If The Lord Is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want"

-Psalm 23:1-

It all boils down to one simple question: Do I find contentment in the fact that I am in the will of the Father...or do I want more because that is that not enough for me?

As Matt and I were reading through Psalm 23 together the other day I was immediately convicted by all of the things that I want. I was convicted because I began to realize that Christ is not my shepherd. I realized that since we have moved here I've been finding myself wanting. A LOT. I want my hair to look a certain way. I want a rug for the the bedroom. I want more hand towels for the bathroom. I want a bread maker. I want an air conditioner. I want new summer clothes because it's so hot....sadly, I could keep going. I was convicted as I realized my lack of contentment. Why have I become so discontent? Because Christ is not my shepherd.

I keep thinking that if my hair would only be a little less curly, or if we had a rug in the bedroom or more hand towels...if I only had a new summer dress...then I might be happy.

It's almost embarrassing to admit it. To write it. To say it out loud, it seems so silly and so obviously "unchristian" of me. But there it is. I've been struggling to trust the Lord and the result is my being discontent. If Christ were my shepherd, I would not want. It's that simple.

So again the question remains...regardless of situation or circumstances, regardless of what I think I "need"...Can I find contentment, or even joy, in the simple truth that I know I am in the will of the Father? I imagine as Paul sat in his jail cell, looking around a dimly lit dirty room...if He wasn't absolutely convinced He was in the will of the Father there's no way he could have found true contentment and peace. If His will truly is my motive for being here orfor doing anything for that matter, than the answer should be yes.

So then why isn't it?

Do I really believe that a new summer dress is going to make me happy? The reality is that since I am not trusting Christ to be the good Shepherd who leads me to green pastures and to still waters and who longs to restore my soul...I cannot be content with being in the will of the Father. Only when I trust His leading and actually let Him lead me, (without holding a grudge) only then will I find the contentment I so desire and desperately need. It's only found in Him.

So today I let go. I open my hands to all that I'm holding on to and trust my Shepherd to lead me and my family. Forgive me Lord for not trusting who I know you to be. For choosing to put my feelings and circumstances above You. For seeking contentment in anything other than your presence.

 

Posted with Blogsy